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“It was impossible to get him on the phone, never mind keep our regular Sunday breakfast date.

And he started to think he was cooler than me, or something.

I was at a crowded bar in my hometown of Virginia Beach, Virginia, on a scorching July night when I mustered up enough liquid courage to approach the future love of my life.

He was tall, muscular, and blond, with stone gray eyes and a low gravelly voice. But when I suggested we go out for a beer, he gave a polite yet immediate "no." Tim later confessed he thought I was beautiful and smart, but there was one thing working against me: I was 21; he was 47, and unlike most men who'd be flattered by a younger woman showing interest in them, he thought going on a date with a woman young enough to be his daughter would be ridiculous.

When something goes wrong with his work or friends, you are the one who bails him out—you explain things to take the heat or responsibility off of his shoulders.

You find yourself making excuses for him, rationalizing his poor choices, and working to see things from his perspective more than your own.

It has become the norm to see older men with younger women and girls even.

When a man her father’s age wanted to date girls younger than she, what did it mean for her own prospects? She became more self-conscious of her appearance both when she was around her father and when she wasn’t.

“I couldn’t help but think that my father might think I was somehow too old to be worthy,” she says. I worried about my appearance in front of him more than a daughter should. It was all-around creepy.” We used to look at May to December romances as something sort of scandalous, but they’re becoming far more common as divorce rates rise and our obsession with youth continues.

Women, on the other hand, can’t take for granted that they will reap these same benefits—whether women benefit from marriage or long-term partnership is dependent upon the of the partnership.

Consider if you are dating someone you will have to carry along in life instead of a real partner you can depend upon.

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