Dating a man who makes less money
She’s one of my best friends and one of my role models. And she was wondering if I thought she should get serious, and maybe even marry, a man who makes less than she does.And it’s a very rare thing when she comes to me for advice. Well, I had some thoughts for her that I thought I’d share with you all too, hoping they’d help you too.At first, I was outraged because shouldn’t we all be striving for our own personal financial independence? But now that it’s been a couple of weeks since I first read that post, I have to admit that I kind of get where she’s coming from.I’ve never specifically laid out financial requirements for a potential partner, but I’ve always gravitated towards men who were ambitious and financially capable of supporting a certain lifestyle.Recently I read a blog post by a woman who refuses to date men who make less than six figures.“I am all about living life, and not about working to pay for it,” she wrote.If she only dated men who earned more than she did, she’d be limiting her prospects to everyone but Mark Zuckerberg and Donald Trump. It is because he’s not motivated or because his industry is just not that well paid. But, if he’s not bringing home the bacon because he’s constantly getting fired from jobs, can’t figure out what he wants to be when he grows up and hates every position he’s ever had, then I say move on and find someone with more earning potential.(Not two dudes I’d ever set her up with.) Think about if your income is a fair standard to hold others to. For example, if your honey is a middle school math teacher, but he’s the best middle school math teacher in the world and truly loves his job, then who cares what his salary is? Are you hung up on his salary because it’s the only issue between you guys or are you hung up on it because it’s a symptom of a lot of other problems between you two?
I needed to stop checking boxes, and I needed to trust my instincts instead.
As long as we can split things evenly and fairly I don't care at all.– /u/kayleigh666If we're strictly talking dollar amounts, then it's probably a non-issue.
But if "less money" is coded language for "unmotivated" or "stuck in an extended adolescence" then I would be incompatible with that person.– /u/theaftercath This has always been my situation and it has never bothered me.
If she really wants you to dress a certain way, she will buy the items for you as gifts, but if she cares that much about your clothes, consider whether or not her priorities are in order.
"Trying to keep up with her lifestyle can lead to resentment in the end," Boykin warns.